Every time I peruse the Etsy sight I can't help but wonder, will there be a time when we will no longer step outside our homes to get what we need? of course, my mind then wanders to the thought of how the real estate market would then just plummet with all the commercial real estate vacancy.. I see that already in Los Angeles.. you go down Sunset Blvd and it seems like every other store is for rent.. back to my point.. I can spend a whole day, or even a whole week looking through etsy and finding all these adorable and creative things that people have made... and then I step outside my home and I see all the commercial mass produced crap in the stores and I go back to feeling uninspired. How do things so shitty make its way to the masses? This goes beyond retail.. 3 words: Freddy got fingered... Shouldn't there be a point when a person should just stop and be like "what the hell are we doing?!" Ugh! Obviously not...

Anyhoot, when I see creative no-names getting their stuff out there through sites like Etsy, a little dash of hope sparks my cynical heart.. no more waiting for that day hoping for a big name company or a studio to come and recognize your potential.. you want to make art, you make it and release it yourself! Power to the people!!





Courtesy of : BeanTownHandmade

It is way past my bedtime yet I feel the need to write this entry on love... yes, love..

Tonight I recall a late evening in the summer of 2008.. I was sitting up in my bed in the middle of the night in total and complete anguish.. I remember looking up at the ceiling with tears profusely rolling down my face as I cried and pleaded for the pain in my heart to stop.. stop completely as if through divine intervention I would cease to feel anything at all... this was the first time ever I made such a plea as a result of a gravely wounded heart.. I was madly deeply unequivocally in love with a man.. he was my soul mate..the man I would one day start a family with and grow old together... I had never loved a man so much and adored someone as much as I did he..... unfortunately, "us" was not meant to be.. so my heart broke and broke.. until I had enough and I left...

Present Day - In two weeks I will be saying "yes" to the man that will be my future husband. A man that I met during my travels.. till this day I believe that this man was a gift from God sent to me to pick up the pieces of what was my broken heart.. God had answered my prayers with a man that showered me with love and tenderness when I had nothing .. no job, no direction, no home, no hope.. just me broken and in pain..

I feel like I have lived a life or two over within the past 3 years.. Since then I have reconciled with the man that broke my heart .. we continue our friendship the way we left off.. as soul mates.. nothing more and nothing less.. for the longest time I struggled with the knowledge that in one person was my soul mate and another my rock... how does one reconcile such a thing? you don't... and so this is my entry for tonight..

Pain blinded me to recognize what truly existed before my eyes... love... beyond form and matter.. time and space..

There exists a love between a husband and a wife... a bond that runs deeper and farther as you live your life with the other.. There exists a love between a soul and another soul... a bond that cannot be broken even if you were to never to see the other again.. I am lucky that I have both such loves in my life..(soul mates I have 2) .. truly lucky.